Mental & Behavioral Health

Being Resilient Bouncing Back From A Setback

While many of our challenges are similar because we are women, one in particular keeps popping up unexpected "stuff" that happens to us, our positions and our families. We all know that it may be easier to just grab your favorite blanket and run into the comfort of your bed, the reality is, that isn't what reality is.

And so we talk to our girlfriends, our coaches, our spouses or whoever can lend an ear and shed some wisdom and we need to find a way to be resilient and bounce back, and not just bouncing back, let's use that situation in a positive way. After speaking with a number of my male clients, they too have challenges with setbacks and in fact, a few of them referred to my next quote.

Henry Ford said, "Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward".

So what are setbacks? Setbacks can be anything that makes you stand still or push you backwards. Something that can prevent you from making the progress you desire. They can be disappointments or failures, but if you see them as a positive gift, and I know that isn't always the easiest to do, you can use them as a comeback.

When we look at some of the situations that hold us with our feet planted in one place, it's time to see if this may be a result from something we might have done or maybe from something we haven't done. For instance, a setback can come from where we live or where we were born and that may be nothing that we did, but we are sometimes victims of our situations. However, if we REALLY look at the situation objectively, every setback is really an opportunity to make a tremendous impact on ourselves and our surroundings.

Being resilient is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things don't go as planned.  If you are resilient you acknowledge, learn and move forward.

So are you resilient?

Resilient people look at a difficulty as challenge. They don't see these challenges as what defines them. They are opportunities to grow and learn. Resilient people have made a commitment to their goals both personally and professionally and they don't take those lightly. And, resilient people focus on those situations over which they have control. It's those situations where they can make a positive impact on that give them the confidence to move forward each and every day.

It's inevitable that we will all be faced with situations that cause us to rethink our decisions or are just plain old mistakes. It's what we do with those decisions that can label us as either being resilient or paralyzed. My blog is called "Change is Inevitable, Growth is Optional" it's all about choices.

Want some ideas about how to turn your circumstances upside down and create an opportunity to catapult your business into a positive situation?

  1. Surround yourself with positive people. Get rid of those energy vampires that suck the life out of you. They are the ones that are holding you back. Remember misery loves company.
  2. What is causing your problems? It's time to identify what is weighing you down so that you can figure out how to take a detour and turn that problem into an opportunity.
  3. What did you learn? No matter what, no matter where and no matter why there is a lesson to learn. If you don't see the lesson, look again. The last thing you want to do is label that a waste of time.
  4. Where did it fail? Were you the cause of this setback or was it something that you couldn't see? If you can, find out where you went off track and try to jump back on and change the outcome.
  5. No matter what, don't give up. This is where your self-belief shows up and it's time to start again. You might need someone to help you with your business plan or strategies.  It will be a lot more costly to repeat these problems a second or third time. Learn from these lessons and this is where you rinse and repeat.

There is a saying that everyone you meet is either a blessing or a lesson. The same holds true with your business. We all make mistakes, some of us create them, but that's what business is all about.

Thomas Edison said, "I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

So, even if you are not naturally resilient, it's easy to start changing your mindset by incorporating some of these steps into your life.

  • Get enough sleep and exercise to manage your stress. Being healthy is something we can't take for granted. Taking care of yourself will give you a better shot at being able to handle what comes your way.
  • Change who and what your listen to. How do you talk to yourself when things don't go according to plan? What you put out there becomes a reality. Watch who you allow in your personal space. It's ok to uninvite those that are negative.
  • Learn from your mistakes and grow. As I said earlier, there is a lesson in every situation. We all go through some rough times but do remember, "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger"
  • It isn't always the situation that controls our journey, it's the way we respond or react to it. Your reaction is always up to you.
  • Make sure you set and review your goals. How will you know if you are on track or if you fall off?
  • Build strong relationships - The more supportive your network, both personally and professionally, the more resilient you will be.
  • Be flexible. Things change, plans change, people change. It's all part of life.

Judy Hoberman, President, Selling In a Skirt -

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