The Emotional Roots of Physical Disease: Relationship Principles for Preventing Emotional Angst in the Workplace
Mar 3, 2010
Traditionally, businesses have been slower to adopt wellness programs that support their employees’ emotional well-being than they have programs that support physical health. That’s understandable. Emotional issues are often hidden from people’s view and can involve extended periods of costly counseling to correct.
Emotional challenges, and the physical health problems they contribute to, result from several events in a person’s life. A key area to focus on is minimizing the emotional impact of problems in your employees’ relationships at home and in the office with co-workers. Counseling in this area can be effective but there are easier, less expensive and faster ways of producing the desired result – i.e., satisfied employees who are engaged and committed to doing their best for the company.
In this article we’ll give you specific actions you can take today to make sure your office environment does not contribute to emotional turmoil in your employees’ lives. At the same time, these steps will create more effective and trusted managers, which is a critical component of developing an engaged and committed workforce. None of these suggestions involve counseling. None of them will cost you a cent, and the impact is immediate.
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Treating Emotional Wellness is Critical for Physical Wellness
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In our workshops we’ve seen firsthand the close connection between the quality of people’s relationships, their emotional wellbeing and a person’s mental and physical health.
That’s why we were interested to read Dr. David Simon’s comments on the research direction being undertaken by the United States Government’s National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM). In his contribution to the Institute of Noetic Sciences’ Noetic Post last fall Dr. Simon, who is the Medical Director of the Chopra Centre for Wellbeing, and author of Free to Love Free to Heal, wrote:
“My experience is that many people seeking alternative healthcare approaches are struggling with unresolved emotional needs, which have been poorly addressed by both the conventional and alternative medical communities…We should refocus the efforts of NCCAM on the emotional-physical connection, seeking more effective ways to help people heal their bodies by healing their emotions.”
As I said, Donna and I have seen this over and over again - the emotional impact of problems in personal and professional relationships; and we know from research that the stress caused by these problems can lead to mental and physical health challenges ranging from depression to heart disease.
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Emotional disease can be caused by triggers other than relationships, but…
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Finances, career issues, and control over time are just a few common causes of stress and emotional angst. Problems in relationships, however, are inherently different, from an emotional perspective. By definition, relationships are emotional. Without emotion there is no relationship. Relationships between people are defined by the emotions they create – e.g., love, hate, anger, happiness, lust.
On the other hand, there is no necessary or inherent connection between emotions and stressors like finances or career progression. Although a variety of emotions can accompany outcomes in these areas, those emotions are not necessarily part of the package. How do we know this? Because, for example, you can separate finances and your emotions. Financial advisors will tell you to avoid becoming attached to any particular outcome in your investments. Remain detached and objective. In other words, don’t let your emotions rule your financial decisions and results. It can be a challenge, but it’s possible.
Can you imagine, however, a relationship counselor offering similar advice? “Don’t become emotionally attached to your spouse or to the outcome of your marriage.” It wouldn’t happen. Relationships and emotions cannot be separated. As your relationships go, so go your emotions; and, as Dr. Simon points out, as your emotions go so goes your physical health. Therefore, when we talk about healing the body by healing emotions an appropriate amount of attention must be given to healing relationships.
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What you can do today
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The good news is that understanding two simple relationship principles will ensure that your office environment supports emotional wellness rather than contributes to emotional disease. These principles will help cement fulfilling and satisfying professional relationships as a permanent part of your employees’ work life. All that’s needed is your willingness to recognize that men and women are different and to interact with your staff according to those differences.
These simple insights will help you understand your staff better and enable you to connect with them in a way that promotes engagement and satisfaction. They do not involve counseling. They do not require uncovering the source of emotional damage, and they cost nothing. Here they are:
1) Acknowledge a Man for What He Does
Men feel best when they are producing. It’s what they’re good at and what they enjoy most. They are most proud of the results they produce, whether it is an outcome at work, a thriving business, a great marriage or a healthy family. In the office, men want to be acknowledged for the quality of their work and for the contribution it makes to the company. They also want to know they are trusted. Here is an example of this sort of acknowledgement:
“Carl, management loved the marketing plan you drew up for the Excalibur launch. Nice job. Using it, they see profits being 35% higher than originally projected. They want you to lead in implementing the strategy. If it works out I wouldn’t be surprised if they have you do more of this sort of thing in the future. Congratulations.”
Acknowledging the result, the contribution it makes and letting him know he is trusted will motivate him and reinforce his loyalty.
2) Acknowledge Women for Who They Are
Women appreciate being acknowledged for their results as well. Trust and connection, however, are generated by “knowing” her and by hearing her. Women get more satisfaction than men from relationships and from the experience of who they are being than they get from doing a task. Therefore, she wants to be acknowledged for the contribution she makes to the lives of others around her - her family, her workplace or any area that is important to her - simply by being who she is. For example:
“Nicole, your presence on the Excalibur launch team made a big difference. Everyone said you were very approachable and made them feel important. You helped keep the team together. Thank you.”
This acknowledgement is not about Nicole achieving a specific result. It is about Nicole’s contribution to the result by how she was with other team members. It focuses on the “who” (i.e., Nicole’s way of being), not the “what” (i.e., the outcomes of the product launch).
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Conclusion
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Ensuring your work environment does not contribute to emotional angst amongst your staff doesn’t have to be difficult or expensive. This is good news. Preventing emotional problems so they don’t eventually manifest themselves physically is important for maintaining your employees’ quality of life as well as their productivity in the workplace. Simply understanding your staff as men and women and interacting with them accordingly, will go a long way toward creating a healthy work environment characterized by positive, engaged and productive professional relationships.
Jason and Donna welcome questions, comments and inquiries about Inner Sync Systems’ programs. They can be reached at contact@innersyncsystems.com.
Jason Krausert, MA
CEO, Inner Sync Systems Inc.
Jason Krausert is CEO of Inner Sync Systems Inc., a leading Canadian personal and professional development company whose innovative programs emphasize gender awareness as the key to happiness, satisfaction and success at home and in the workplace.
Jason understands that an individual’s well-being is intimately tied to the quality of his or her personal and professional relationships. Since each of us are either a man or a woman using basic gender principles effectively are at the source of what makes relationships work in every area of life.
Inner Sync Systems’ leading-edge wellness retreat for business, called “Between Men and Women”©, is re-writing the rule book for how human resources are managed in the 21st century. Political correctness is set aside in favor of what works between men and women as Krausert and his partner, Donna Tosky, transform lives using their “straight-shooters with heart” approach.
Jason has been active in the human potential movement since the late 1980’s. First as a student researcher in the area of third world development and later as a photojournalist, he sought to support people striving to fulfill their dreams in both far-off countries and in his own Canadian backyard. Inner Sync Systems is the vehicle Jason has chosen to realize his belief that happiness, vitality and well-being are available to men and women through the relationships they nurture at home and on the job.
Donna Tosky, CBP
Lead Program Developer and Facilitator,
Inner Sync Systems Inc.
Donna Tosky has worked in the wellness industry as an employee, business owner and consultant for over fifteen years.
From listening to patients while in pharmacy at the community level to working closely with people in her own private practice as a certified natural health practitioner to staffing her own home care business, it became glaringly obvious to Donna that an important correlation exists between the quality of an individual’s relationships and their health…both physical and mental.
For Donna, the study of gender and it’s intrinsic role in the area of human relations became a primary focus. She made it her business to study the conditions under which men are known to operate at their best and the conditions under which women are known to operate at their best, both at home and in the workplace.
Now as a national leading expert on gender, Donna educates individuals, health care professionals and business owners by showing them how natural laws of gender are a critical component of true success at home and in the workplace.
